Last time, I taught you how to “recognize what is/is not working for you” – the eighth stress management technique of 10 that I’m writing about. Remember, if one technique doesn’t work for you – that’s OK ‘cause not all of them will! Don’t give up – try other techniques until you find the ones that DO work for you.
The purpose of this Stress Management Technique is to:
- remind you that you have choices, including the option of saying no.
- highlight the fact that, because you can say no, your yes is real and not forced.
- remind you that you’re responsible for the choices you make (and to make them wisely).
When someone asks you to do something you know you don’t want to do:
- take two or three slow, deep belly breaths.
- Then say, “I need a few moments to think about this. Can I get back to you in a little while?”
- When you offer your response, choose one of the following: “I’ve thought about this, and unfortunately I’m not going to be able to help you out this time. I realize this may be disappointing to you, but it’s what I’ve decided”; or, “I’m not going to be able to help you out in the way you asked; maybe together we can come up with a solution that works for us both.”
- At first, practice saying no with people you trust, knowing that they will respond well.
- Remember that you can choose to say no. Give the answer you want to give.
- You don’t have to do something just because someone asks you to.
- If you’re not sure what answer you want to give, always ask for time to think over the request.
- You don’t have to say no any more than you have to say yes; the choice is always yours.
Use this Technique when:
- you’re asked to take on extra work.
- you’re asked to help out over and over in your family.
- you need to resist the bad habits of peers.
- salespeople are pushing you to buy something you do not need.
- a friend wants you to come over and you’re exhausted.
“JUST SAY NO” STRESS MANAGEMENT TECHNIQUE:
Just saying no is a way of setting limits, being assertive without being angry, and communicating what you do and don’t want to do to yourself and to others.
Today you also have access to the tenth and final Stress Management Technique – how to “Accept What You Can’t Change”. That’s right, I’ve posted the last two techniques today instead of making you wait another week. Enjoy!
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